Expectations

Here is my latest entry in the Carrot Ranch Communications flash fiction challenge. It's been awhile since I joined in the fun and I'm glad I found some time today to play with my 99 words. Thanks to Sarah Brentyn for her gentle encouragement to keep writing and to Charli Mills for hosting this great weekly series. Check out more entries from other awesome writers over at the ranch. 

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She waited. She was always waiting for him in some way. Her fingers trailed through the puddle of spilled coffee. She tried not to look at the door as she shuffled through his words in her mind, words that she repeated back to herself, sometimes for reassurance, sometimes as penance. Pushing her phone away she focused on the street, not wanting to watch the minutes pass, or to acknowledge what became clearer each day. Her father had been right about that. Sometimes the only thing you got to walk away with was your disappointment and sometimes, that was lucky.

Why I Write

This post is part of the series "Why I Write".

Thank you to the wonderful Sarah Brentyn for selecting me to participate in this blog hop. 

Check out Sarah's post here. 

When Sarah asked if she could tag me in her "Why I Write" post, I agreed readily, because I was sure this would be a no-brainer. I have always loved writing. And reading. And so, what could be easier than writing about writing, right? Wrong. Very wrong. 

Turns out, writing about writing is like writing about love. The harder I try to tell you about it, the more it sounds superficial and cloying. No matter how genuine I feel, my words all have this "been there, heard that" quality about them that doesn't get at what I really want to say. So, in the spirit of acceptance (I'm working hard on acceptance these days), I'm going to forgive myself for saying what has been said a million times and a million different ways by much better writers before me. I'm going to take a deep breath and just tell you why I write. 

I write because I love stories. I write because I'm fascinated by relationships and the myriad of ways that people can make each other crazy. I write because nothing interests me more than understanding and exploring human behaviour and digging deep into the dark psyche of need and greed. I write because my heart aches when people fall in love. I write because it turns out that creating stories is just as exciting as reading them. I write because when I'm struggling to figure out what I want, the words make shapes in my brain that help my thoughts become more concrete. I write because I like twisting my daydreams into story lines that I don't recognize and my experiences into pictures that I have never seen. I write because I like the mystery and uncertainty of writing stories that can end in any way I choose. I write because I like creating characters who can make choices I never have. I write because when I write, I am someone that I'm usually not. 

My favourite part of this blog hop is that I now get to tell you about two  other writers who will tell you about why they write, too. Stay tuned! 

August at All in One Basket: Smart, compassionate, vulnerable, wise. If you know anyone struggling with infertility (or parenting after infertility) this is the blog to send them to. Augusta has a knack for making people feel like they're not alone. 

Cate More at The Art of Authenticity: Cate is a smart, funny, meditative blogger whose tweets and posts make me smile. She writes about her experiences without "watering it down or shining it up…just beautiful, messy life."